A Brief Interruption

 

Josh Coomer and Michael Fulvio

A BARE ROOM. A CHAIR AND SMALL DESK OR TABLE.

 WALDSTOCK IS STANDING SOMEWHAT UNCOMFORTABLY .  HE GLANCES AT HIS WATCH.  WILTON, A SLEEK WOMAN DRESSED IN A SORT OF TAILORED UNIFORM ENTERS WITH A FOLDER AND PLACES IT ON THE TABLE.

 

WALDSTOCK

Excuse me…

WILTON

Yes?

WALDSTOCK

I’ve been here for a while now.

WILTON

Yes.

WALDSTOCK

Well, I was just wondering if you knew how long this might take. I was late for a meeting already when I was invited here.

WILTON

Yes. I was made aware of that fact. We do apologize for the inconvenience. We realize that there are many more important things you could be doing.

WALDSTOCK

No, no, I didn’t mean that this was unimportant…I just wanted to let my colleague know that I would be late. They made me leave my phone at the desk.

WILTON

We have sent a message to your friend. He will not be inconvenienced. (SHE SMILES)

WALDSTOCK

I see. Thank you. I really appreciate that. I’m very-

 

WILTON

Mr. Waldstock, your appreciation is noted.  We do try to be as accommodating as possible.  I’ll be with you shortly. (SHE SMILES AND GOES)

HE WAITS.  AFTER A MOMENT, WARNER ENTERS. WALDSTOCK’S BACK IS TURNED.

WARNER

They told me to wait in here.

WALDSTOCK TURNS, SEES HIM, AND DOES A DOUBLE TAKE. WARNE R IS EQUALLY SURPRISED.

WALDSTOCK

Warner! What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be at the café .

WARNER

I was. But then a public service officer came over to my table and invited me here. I told him I was waiting for a friend, but he assured me they would send you a message.  I see they did.

WALDSTOCK

No, actually. I was on my way to the district to meet you when a public service officer came up to me on the tram and invited me here.

WARNER

Odd.

WALDSTOCK

Very.

WARNER

Have you ever been invited before?

WALDSTOCK

No. I don’t know anyone who has- I mean personally….Friends of friends maybe. You?

WARNER

My cousin was. He says it’s all very routine. Just a random selection

WALDSTOCK

How funny that both of us would be “randomly selected” at the same time.

WARNER

Yes.  An amazing coincidence.

WALDSTOCK

Uncanny.

WARNER

Unbelievable.

PAUSE

WALDSTOCK

You realize that this is not a coincidence

WARNER

Yes.

WALDSTOCK

What do we do?

WARNER

I don’t know.

WALDSTOCK

I suppose we just answer the questions as truthfully as possible.

WARNER

Yes.

THEY WAIT. WARNER GLANCES AT THE FILE ON THE TABLE.

WARNER

What do you suppose is in that?

WALDSTOCK

I don’t know.

 

WARNER

Should we look? I mean it might not hurt to see what it is that they already have. It might help us know what to say.

WALDSTOCK

I don’t think that’s a good idea. They’re probably watching us right now. (POINTEDLY) And listening too.

WARNER

Oh. Yes. Of course.

WILTON ENTERS

WILTON

Thank you for waiting gentlemen. Again, we do apologize for the interruption to your personal schedules, but I can assure you that this wont take more than five minutes. I am PSO Wilton and I’ll be conducting this friendly, and completely voluntary interview. Now, you are citizen Warner?

WARNER

Yes.

WILTON

And you are citizen Waldstock?

WALDSTOCK

Yes.

WILTON

And you both agree that you are here of your own free will by invitation of the public service committee and that no threat or physical coercion was used to make you join us today?

WALDSTOCK/WARNER

Yes

WILTON

Excellent.  Now to the matter at hand. I am sure that you are both aware of the increasing problem the committee has been dealing with concerning certain spiritual philosophies that are being practiced in secret by a few, but an increasing number of, citizens. As you know,  our by-laws do not prohibit these practices. Unless , of course,  they run counter to the philosophies expressed by the majority and reflected in the views of the freely- elected members of the Public Service Committee as a whole.

WALDSTOCK

I’m sorry Ms. Wilton, but I no longer wish to voluntarily co operate.

WILTON

Really Mr. Waldstock?  I can’t say I’m surprised, but you will be happy to know that your co operation is not necessary. We have received all the intelligence we require from your friend, Mr. Warner.

WALDSTOCK

What!?

WARNER

I’m sorry.

WALDSTOCK

But you are the organizer! You recruited ME!

WARNER

Yes. But the committee made me a generous offer .  Just recant Waldstock….sign the loyalty oath. It’s all they want. Just your name on a line!

WALDSTOCK

I don’t understand.

WILTON

Mr. Waldstock, we are simply asking you to cease your associations with certain more militant followers of your philosophy. By signing the “Oath” as Mr. Warner calls it, you maintain your allegiance to the committee and renounce your participation in the gatherings that we have found to be counter to our and by “our” I mean the majority of the committee, continuing purpose. It will also give the subcommittee on information and research access to your books and papers.

WALDSTOCK

My books?

WILTON

The committee has found that many citizens possess, quite unknowingly , works of literature and history that were thought to be lost or destroyed. We make copies of these for the archive. We also assist you in curating your collection and removing those works that you no longer have use of. It’s all very helpful.

 

WALDSTOCK

And if I refuse to sign?

WARNER

That’s not an option!

WILTON

Mr Warner please. The committee appreciates your assistance, but I must ask you to allow me to answer. Of course, not signing is an option Mr. Waldstock. We will not force you… But there  will have to be some adjustments. You and your family will be relocated.

WALDSTOCK

Relocated?

WARNER

She means the camps, Waldstock!

WILTON

Mr. Warner! Let me remind you that we do not discuss the particulars of relocation. I myself am not briefed on them and do not speculate. So, Citizen Waldstock will you voluntarily sign your name to the prepared statement, endorsing all that it states and implies?

WALDSTOCK

No.

WARNER

Think this through! They’re making you an offer . You just have to accept the terms! And they really are generous terms.

WILTON

Again, Citizen Waldstock, will you sign the statement?

WALDSTOCK

No.

 

 

WILTON

The Committee notes with sadness your refusal. I believe we are finished here Mr. Warner. You may speak with the officer at the desk on your way out regarding your compensation. I thank you warmly on the Committee’s behalf.

WARNER ATTEMPTS TO CONNECT WITH

WALDSTOCK, BUT FAILS. HE GOES.

WALDSTOCK

What sort of compensation does he get? What was I worth?

WILTON

Mr. Warner will be executed before he leaves the building. The Committee has no use for his type of individual.

WALDSTOCK

Wait a minute. He helped you. He sold me out to you.

WILTON

Exactly. We have no use for a loyalty that can be bought like a commodity. Mr. Warner only helped us because the price was right. Someday someone will be able to out bid us and his kind will simply follow the reward. We have no interest in that kind of allegiance.

WALDSTOCK

So what happens now? Do you just pack me off to the camp straight from here? Will I at least get to send a message to my family?

WILTON

You are free to go. Conviction like yours can’t be changed through threats or bribery. That interests us. That makes you useful.

WALDSTOCK

I don’t-

WILTON

We know where you stand Mr. Waldstock. We know where you are. Someday these convictions of yours may prove more helpful to us than you can possibly imagine. Again, on behalf  of the Committee, I apologize for this brief interruption in your routine. Please accept our warmest wishes. (SHE SMILES)  I’ll see you out? (They GO)

 

THE END

 LIAR'S DICE

Marshall Spann, Logan Ford, Patrick Lane in "Liars Dice"-Photo by Jason Donovan Hall

 

IN THE DARKNESS THERE IS THE SOUND OF A TRAIN. IT CAN
AND SHOULD CONTINUE AS THE LIGHTS SLOWLY FADE UP ON
A RAILWAY COMPARTMENT.  ALEX IS SPRAWELD ACROSS ONE
BENCH ABSENTMINDEDLY PICKING OUT A TUNE ON HIS VIOLIN.
RENE IS ATTEMPTING TO JUGGLE SOME ORANGES, BUT NOT
SUCCEEDING VERY WELL DUE TO THE MOVEMENT OF THE TRAIN.

RENE

Must you?

ALEX

Must I?

RENE

Diddle like that.

ALEX

Diddle?

RENE

Yes. Diddle. It’s not even a song. It’s barely music. It’s annoying.

ALEX

No more so than your bumbling around with that fruit. You haven’t gotten through the routine once without dropping it. It’s embarrassing.

HE PUNCTUATES THIS WITH A FLOURISH ON THE VIOLIN.

RENE

It’s the train. My balance is off. And I can’t concentrate!!!

ALEX

You weren’t on a train in Carlsbad. Or in Baden. And the Grand Theatre Bratislava seemed relatively stable when we played there.

RENE

That was months ago! And I had a head cold! You know what that does to my sense of rhythm. If you want to be helpful, why don’t you play something I can actually use? You know, something actually IN the act!

ALEX

Alright, alright. But only so I can’t hear the excuses! You’re like an old woman sometimes.  “It’s too hot. It’s too cold. I’m not feeling well”

RENE

Sha, sha , sha!! Just play!

ALEX STRIKES UP A JAUNTY TUNE AND RENE BEGINS AN INTRICATE  JUGGLING  ROUTINE IN TIME TO THE MUSIC.  IT IS IMPRESSIVE AND HE IS BUILDING TO A BIG FINISH WHEN SUDDENLY THE COMPARTMENT IS PLUNGED INTO DARKNESS. A TUNNEL.

RENE

Shit!

ALEX

Aw. And just as you were getting to your big finish.

RENE

Shut up!

THEY WAIT IN DARKNESS FOR A MOMENT.

This is a long tunnel. PAUSE Alex, how long have we been on this train?

ALEX

What?

RENE

I think I’ve lost track of time. Was it yesterday in Carlsbad?

ALEX

No, that was last week! Yesterday was… Yesterday was… Yesterday was someplace else. There was that girl in the box. The one who threw her handkerchief down to me.

 

RENE

That was in Prague last month! And she was throwing it to me!  Your head got in the way.

ALEX

Wait a minute. What day is it?

PAUSE

RENE

I don’t know.

THE TRAIN BARRELS OUT OF THE TUNNEL FLOODING THE COMPART MENT WITH LIGHT. 
THERE IS NOW A THIRD PERSON SEATED ON THE BENCH OPPOSITE ALEX. HE IS A PALE YOUTH WITH A SMALL CASE IN HIS LAP.

THE YOUTH

It’s the 30^th.

ALEX AND RENE START WITH SURPRISE. THEY HADN’T NOTICED HIM IN THE DARK.

RENE/ALEX

My God!/ Son of a …

THE YOUTH

I’m sorry. I was walking back to my compartment when we came to the tunnel. I must have miscounted the doors. But it is the 30^th.

RENE AND ALEX STARE AT HIM FOR A MOMENT. THEN AT EACH OTHER.

ALEX

What month?

THE YOUTH

April.

RENE

But that can’t be! We have a booking in Brno in March. I specifically remember. March 15^th; the Ides of March.  “ Et tu Brute?” and all that. It sticks in my head.( PAUSE) Unless we played Brno already and I forgot. Alex, did we play Brno?

ALEX

Of course not! I’d remember that… He’s confused.

THE YOUTH

Oh no, I’m quite certain. It is April the 30^th. Or I wouldn’t be here.

ALEX

He’s crazy.

RENE

Don’t you think you should trip along back to your own compartment? Your mother must be wondering where you are.

THE YOUTH SMILES.

THE YOUTH

You got on at what station?

RENE

Excuse me?

THE YOUTH

What town?

ALEX

Listen, little man, I think you should shove off. We were right in the middle of an important rehearsal when you showed up. We don’t have time to sit and play twenty questions. There’s plenty of light now and you can surely find your way.

THE YOUTH

What were you rehearsing?

RENE

Our act.

ALEX

Don’t encourage him Rene.

 

THE YOUTH

Really? What sort of an act is it?

ALEX

It’s a “mind your own business and go back to where you belong” sort of act!

PAUSE

RENE

It’s a musical juggling act. We’re very well known. We play only the first class theatres.

ALEX

Rene!

RENE

What? It’s true. And it’s something I’m still sure of! What town did we get on at, Alex? I don’t remember. You don’t remember.

 

ALEX

Of course I do! It was…

 HE DOESN’T REMEMBER. PAUSE.

THE YOUTH

I would like to see it. Just a bit of it?

ALEX

NO!

RENE

Alex!  Please. The more I stand here, the less I remember. Right now the only thing clear in my mind is who we are and what we do. Maybe if we just perform a little, everything will fall into place! I’ve heard of things like that happening…

ALEX

He unnerves me.

 

RENE

But he’s an audience. I REMEMBER audiences.

THE YOUTH

Please? I’m sure I’ll enjoy it!

ALEX PICKS UP HIS VIOLIN. HE STRIKES UP A TUNE AND RENE LAUNCHES INTO HIS JUGGLING. HE FINISHES, BOWS WITH A FLOURISH AND TURNS TO ALEX. THE YOUTH APPLAUDS.

THE YOUTH

Bravo!

ALEX (TO RENE)

Anything?

RENE

Nothing. You?

ALEX

Not even what I had for breakfast.

THE YOUTH

Gentleman, thank you! Really! I feel as though I should offer you something in return. What is your usual fee?

RENE (BLANKLY)

I don’t know.

THE YOUTH

I’m sorry. Maybe I can entertain you then?

ALEX

Do you perform? Have we been on a bill together?

 THE YOUTH

No. No. But we have met. I was hoping we could play a game.

HE REMOVES A CUP AND A PAIR OF DICE FROM HIS CASE.

THE YOUTH (cont)

I usually like to play chess to pass the time, but since there are three of us, I thought that might not be practical. Have you ever played “ liars dice”?

RENE

Yes! Yes! I remember that!

ALEX

My uncle taught me! It’s coming back to me. Yes.

THE YOUTH

Excellent!  So, for the sake of time, let’s say we each get two “lives”.

ALEX

Is this a friendly game or are we playing for stakes?

THE YOUTH

This is a friendly game! A very friendly game! But yes, there are stakes. Let’s not talk about that right now, though. Let’s begin.

RENE

Who goes first? I’ll go first.

HE ROLLS THE DICE, LOOKS AT THE TOTAL, AND ANNOUNCES THE NUMBER.

64

HE PASSES THE CUP TO ALEX.  ALEX LOOKS  AT HIM, BUT NOT AT THE DICE.

ALEX

You’re lying.

RENE

I’m terrible at this.

ALEX LOOKS AT THE DICE.

ALEX

Ah yes.

 THE YOUTH

One life down.

  HE LAUGHS. RENE JOINS HIM. ALEX SEEMS LESS AMUSED.  HE SHAKES THE CUP

ALEX

66

IT IS AN OBVIOUS BLUFF.  THE YOUTH TAKES THE CUP.

THE YOUTH

You know tonight is Walpurgisnacht? They say the veil is thinnest on this night.

HE SHAKE S AND DOESN’T LOOK AT THE CUP.  HE PASSES IT TO RENE.

21.

RENE

Wait a minute. If I guess that you’re lying and you’re not I lose. But if I pass it without looking I lose. The only way I win is if you aren’t lying. I hate this game.

THE YOUTH

It’s a choice you have to make. Like getting on a train. A train to Brno, that jumped the rails on a trestle over the Svitava River in early March. Some people chose not to get on that train. They lived.

RENE

Lucky them. (HE LAUGHS ) I hate choosing. Take the cup Alex, I’m out.  Here’s my Thaler.
HE FLIPS A COIN TO THE YOUTH.

THE YOUTH

Keep your money. We’ll settle up later. (HE TURNS TO ALEX) I believe it is your turn, sir.

ALEX

I don’t want to play anymore.

THE YOUTH

But you have two lives left. Are you forfeiting the game?

THE TRAIN BEGINS TO SLOW.

Oh. We seem to be reaching a station. What a lucky break for you!

ALEX

Get your things Rene, we are getting off his train as soon as it stops!

BUT RENE ONLY STARES BLANKLY.

ALEX

Come on you klutz, let’s go!

THE YOUTH

No, I’m afraid he won’t be coming with you. He lost. And now he and I have an engagement we have to keep.  You’re free to go sir, but remember that our game isn’t finished. You have two lives left. Someday you’ll have to roll the dice again and decide whether to bluff or tell the truth, whether to get on or stay off the train. And I’ll be there. And we’ll play again. And just so you know, sir, I always win in the end.

BLACKOUT

 

 

 

 

 

Very Private Lives

(With Sincere Apologies to "The Master")

Michael Fulvio, Kathleen Wallace, and Moses Villarama-Photo by Gregg Leblanc

THE LADIES LOUNGE OF A HOTEL BALLROOM.  CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND. THERE IS A SUDDEN POUNDING ON THE DOOR.

 

ELYOT (OFF)

Amanda! (MORE KNOCKING) Amanda! I know you’re in there!  (MORE KNOCKING) OK, I hope you’re alone, ‘cause I’m coming in!

 

ELYOT ENTERS. HE IS DRESSED FOR A FORMAL EVENT, BUT CURRENTLY LOOKS A LITTLE WORSE FOR WEAR. HIS HAIR IS ASKEW AND THERE IS A WET DINNER NAPKIN WRAPPED AROUND HIS RIGHT HAND AS A MAKESHIFT BANDAGE OF SORTS. HE LOOKS AROUND AND NOTICES THE CLOSED STALL. HE KNOCKS LOUDLY, AND IS SUDDENLY REMINDED OF HIS INJURED HAND.

ELYOT

Look, I know you’re in here….

AMANDA

 (FROM THE STALL)

Go away Elyot! This is the ladies room….

ELYOT

I’m aware. I can read. But if you think that’s going to stop me, you are dead wrong! I’m going to lock that door and sit right here until you come out and start explaining yourself.

 

HE BOLTS THE DOOR AND PLANTS HIMSELF ON A VANITY STOOL EFFECTIVLY BLOCKING ENTRANCE FROM OUTSIDE AND ANY SUDDEN EXIT FROM THE STALL.

AMANDA (STILL INSIDE)

I have nothing to explain! If you hadn’t shown up this wouldn’t have happened.

 

ELYOT

I was invited! By you!

AMANDA

I thought you’d send a card-maybe a nice gift. I didn’t expect you to actually COME.

 

ELYOT

Oh, I’m sorry I must have taken that “Requests the pleasure of your company” part literally!

AMANDA STORMS OUT OF THE STALL. SHE IS DRESSED IN A WHITE COCKTAIL DRESS AND IS CARRYING A BATTERED BOUQUET. SHE MAKES FOR THE DOOR, BUT ELYOT CUTS HER OFF. THERE IS A BRIEF FACE OFF BEFORE SHE COLLECTS HERSELF AND BEGINS TO RIGHT HER MAKE UP AT THE VANITY

 

AMANDA

That was always your problem, Elyot. You take everything literally! You have no appreciation or understanding of subtext.

 

 

 

ELYOT

If you mean that  “double talk” that you and the rest of your crazy family call  “dinner conversation” then no, you’re right. I don’t understand or appreciate it. Forgive me for my innocence, but I think people should say what they think or just not talk at all.

 

AMANDA

And yet it NEVER occurs to you to actually take the latter option. It all just comes pouring out like some sort of verbal…diarrhea!

ELYOT

Hey, I didn’t SAY anything to him; I didn’t have the chance. He just walked over and took a swing at me!  Now, call me crazy, but since I have never met the man I can only assume that you might have had something to do with that somewhat abrupt salutation.   What did you tell him about me?

 

AMANDA

Nothing. Don’t flatter yourself….  I just ….Look Elyot, I don’t want to have this conversation right now.  And not here!  Just go!

ELYOT

No way.   Not until you tell me why your new husband chose to introduce himself to me by attempting to knock my block off!...Besides, he may have come to out there and I’m not sure I’m up for a second round .

 

AMANDA

Leave!

 

ELYOT

No.

 

 

AMANDA

God, you are selfish!

 

 

ELYOT

What did you just call me? Selfish?  This from a woman who admittedly only invited me to her wedding because she thought I’d send a  gift?  And you say I have no understanding of irony…

 

AMANDA

No, I said you have no understanding of subtext!  I’ll be blunt, FUCK OFF!

 

ISAAC  SPEAKS FROM THE STALL

 

ISAAC

How much longer is this gonna last? It’s hot in here.

 

ELYOT

What the Hell?! Who is that?

 

AMANDA

Jesus CHRIST!  Alright fine, come on out, join the party!

ISAAC SLINKS OUT OF THE STALL. HE’S DRESSED “HIPSTER CHIC” AND HIS SHIRT IS BUTTONED CROOKED. HE IS UNAWARE OF THE LIPSTICK SMEARED ACROSS HIS FACE.

 

ISAAC

Hey Mandy…I’m sorry.  It’s just really stuffy in that stall and I-

 

ELYOT

Who the hell are you?

 

AMANDA

He’s Victor’s brother, Isaac.  Isaac this is Elyot my… friend from college.

 

ISAAC

Hey bro… nice moves! I’ve never seen anybody drop my brother with one punch. He’s a beast!

 

ISAAC TAKES OUT A HIP FLASK AND OFFERS IT TO ELYOT. ELYOT IGNORES IT

 

ELYOT

The groom’s brother?  Really Amanda? Really?

 

AMANDA

It’s complicated.

 

ELYOT

It’s pathological!  How old is he?

 

ISAAC

Hey, I’m in the room! ….And I’m  19… and half.

 

ELYOT

Let me get this straight…While I’m dodging punches from your husband of less than 2 hours, you are here in the ladies room banging his baby brother? A man who is not only your legal relative at this point but who still measures his age in fractions?

 

ISAAC

Hey! We weren’t actually doing it…Yet.

 

AMANDA

You are not helping.  This is mostly your fault anyway,  if you weren’t texting me constantly none of this would have ever happened.

 

SHE HANDS HIM A TISSUE TO WIPE HIS FACE

 

ELYOT

Wait a minute….What does this little incest-fest have to do with me nearly getting my clock cleaned in front of the raw bar? How long has this been going on?

 

AMANDA/ISAAC

Not Long./Six months

 

AMANDA

Which is NOT LONG!  Anyway, I was going to end it…

 

ISAAC

What!

AMANDA

But Isaac kept sending me these text messages. And then last night Victor wanted to use my phone at the rehearsal dinner…

 

ISAAC

Oh. Woops…

 

AMANDA

Yeah, woops.  He sent me a doozy. Telling me how much he loved me and how stupid I was to be getting married after all we had together…

 

ISAAC

I was a little drunk. I do think I should get points for not using my own phone!

 

AMANDA

Yeah right, you’re a genius…Anyway, I had to think fast so I told Victor that the messages were from you. I never expected that you’d actually show up today!

 

 

 

 

ELYOT

I did RSVP!! (PAUSE) Ok, so now I understand why Vic wasn’t overjoyed to make my acquaintance. But what’s with you sneaking off to the Ladies lounge with baby Huey here while your husband is out cold on the buffet table?

 

AMANDA

I needed to explain what was going on. And I was going to break it off.

 

ELYOT POINTS TO ISAACS UNDONE ZIPPER

 

 

ELYOT

Well, that was success.

 

ISAAC

What can I say? I’m a little bit irresistible. It’s my boyish charm.

 

ELYOT

No, it’s Amanda’s inability to be satisfied with anything she has. You’re just “that guy”. If it wasn’t you, it’d be someone else…

 

AMANDA

Elyot, that’s not fair…or true.

 

ELYOT

Yes it is.  You always want more. More money, more success, more men…

 

ISAAC

I thought this guy was your friend! Ouch!

 

AMANDA

Shut up!

 

ELYOT

Well Amanda, fine.  You thought I’d “send a nice gift”…and I did- there’s a big box from Tiffany’s with a lovely and heartfelt card currently waiting with your doorman-. But maybe you need something a little more practical. Ok, I’m going to take this bullet for you…

 

AMANDA

Oh Elyot, I can’t stand it when you’re “noble”. It’s like you’re wearing someone else’s clothes. .…Just go. I’ll clean this mess up myself.

 

ELYOT

Ok. Will do. Best wishes on the nuptials. I hope you enjoy the gift….It’s a punchbowl.  There’s a gift receipt in the box. Come on Isaac, I’ll let you score some bonus points with your family by throwing me out. It’ll be great…I’ll even cry a little!....You might want to rebutton your shirt first.

 

THEY GO. AMANDA TAKES A MOMENT AND FIXES HER MAKEUP A FINAL TIME .  SHE SUDDENLY NOTICES THE LARGE DIAMOND RING ON HER LEFT HAND. IT’S PRETTY. SHE LIKES IT, BUT SHE SLIDES IT OFF, WRAPS IT IN A TISSUE AND DROPS IT INTO HER EVENING BAG. SHE EXITS WITH DETERMINATION.

 

THE END